It’s been a year since my beloved husband, Romulus passed away. And since then, there is not a day that I do not miss him. Yes I am much stronger now, but deep within me I know that there is something missing. He is my sunshine that wakes me up every morning and he is the gentle breeze that makes me fell asleep at night. Now that he’s gone, my days are gloomy and my nights are freezing. Though I tried to show everyone that I’m alright, only Antonia and me myself know that I really am not.
I have to admit, that I used to dislike Romulus. Few days after my 15th birthday, father called me to his reading room. And there 20 years old Romulus was, standing obidiently next to my father. Father then introduced him as my future husband, one of our Senate’s son. I wanted to run away, but something inside me asked me to stay; which I did. After that brief introduction, Romulus’s father, Senate Dominica came in the reading room. Father and him then discussed about my wedding with Romulus. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away. But I cannot. These two hours of discussion really made me feel like I was in hell. I was deep in sorrow, when the discussion finally finished and my wedding date is decided. According to our customs and beliefs, June is the best month to get the ceremony done, and 15th of June is the luckiest day of the month. And that’s when I’ll get married.
The wedding is a month away, and there is not a day that I regretted myself of why I ever agreed to father’s decision to marry me to Romulus. But somehow, I cannot forget that face. That strong, masculine and tanned face. I guess maybe I just despise him so much that his face keep flashing in my eyes and mind. It is only natural when a wedding is on its way, the preparation to celebrate it is very hectic. Plus, adding the fact that my father is the Princep. The preparation was a little too much, in my opinion. My personal room is filled with the dowry from father and the prenuptial gift from Romulus’s family. In Rome, dowry and prenuptial gifts are a must to be given to the bride for her future need. While I was browsing through the gifts, I saw this small box. I picked it up and opened it; there it was. The most beautiful ring I have ever seen in my life. Inside the box there was this small piece of folded paper. I unfolded it and I read it;
Ego may non exsisto optimus , tamen ego spondeo ego mos diligo quod take tutela vestrum cetera of meus vita.
Romulus.
It was from him. “I may not be the best, but I promise I will love and take care of you for the rest of my life.” I can never forget that words, and Romulus got me at that. So the wedding ceremony goes on like it was planned. I have to go through lots of religious ceremonies and finally, we are about to sign the marriage contract that will officially make Romulus and I a legal married couple. The wedding was beautiful, the best that I have ever been before. Even my sister, Julia said so. She was slightly drunk when she told me that, but I was pretty much sure she meant it.
After the marriage, Romulus treated my like a queen. He shows me how to ride horses, how to shoot an arrow, how to swim. Everything that I always wanted to do. He is the one that change my view of the world, and I could not be more grateful. In our society, a husband is allowed to have concubines. I remembered asking him once, why don’t he look for one. He replied to me, “Why would I look for a glass, when I have a diamond?” He was so good with words, I have to say.
However, 3 years after our marriage, a few days after my 18th birthday, the most dreadful day of my life came. Romulus and I were out in my father’s personal garden one night, enjoying the night air before we went to bed. I have no idea how but suddenly there was this huge snake in front of me; trying to spray his venom to me. I was panicked and I could not move my feet. When the snake was about to attack me, Romulus pushed me aside and he was biten by the snake instead. I was terrified. I tried to suck out the venom but it was to late. My dear husband died in my arms.
My later days without him was full of misery. Every single things I do remind me of him. I lost my will to live. I missed him very much, more than words can say. I swore that I will never love anyone else but him. I knew he is watching and guarding me from heaven, and I will do my best to preserve our memories together.
Resources:
http://www.womenintheancientworld.com/women_in_ancient_rome.htm
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